Mary Had A Big Ass Lamb [Confessional]

[Mary Sartain]

My rants will go in here. First one coming soon, probably tomorrow. Keep an eye out. Or an ear rather. Whatever.

[Mary Sartain]

Round One - I'm On A Tribe of Fantards *Sigh*

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Hey Bo and Jilly!

First off, thanks for allowing me to play the game. Bo you might know me as Tom from Survivor: Horror in case you didn't know yet.

Alright, so, I'm here as Mary. But i'd like to give myself a nickname this season, which will be Bloody Mary. That's because i'm here to take no prisoners. Not to quote Sammi from the Jersey Shore, but "i'm the sweetest bitch you'll ever meet." Get on my good side and i'm your biggest ally. But get on my bad side, and you're in for a bumpy ass ride. Bumpier than Paris Hilton's vagina.

Now, coming into this season, i'm on a tribe of fans. Which so far seems to suck. I mean, I know I haven't really put forth the effort to talk to anyone yet cuz i've been a bit busy, but of my whole tribe, only ONE person has made the effort to approach me. And that is Tracy. So as of now, i'm going to look out for Tracy. She shows initiative, which is always good in these things.

Let me now REintroduce myself. I am Mary, the HBIC. For those of you that never had the pleasure of gracing yourself with the presence of VH1's Miss New York, that stands for Head Bitch In Charge. I'm not here to take no bullshit. I'm not here to play games. (OK, so maybe I am here to play a game, but let that one go.)

I'm not here to make friends. (Sorry, it needs to be said at least once on every reality show, i'm betting i'm not the only one that said it.)

So, my strategy, is take no prisoners. I'm here to win. And playing against 10 Favorites, I need to prove my worth to them. Whenever it so happens that I begin playing this game WITH them, I don't want them to think they can dominate me. I want them to know that i'm competition, but not so much that they want me out quickly. I want them to know that i'm on their level, but I want them to want me around. I want to be... well, a Favorite.

But it's going to be hard to make it to that point, and I know that. So I need to make some alliances.

Tracy is an obvious option.

Now, I'm also thinking Chet. Chet put a good effort into our first challenge, and I for one think it would be a great move to align the Queen Bitch with the Bitchy Queen. I can see it now in the headlines.

But my tribe has a way to go. During the first challenge, there was a long bit where I was the only one digging a fucking hole the side of the 2012 meteor, and Jason decided to post "Yeah Erik is cute." Umm.... how about helping me dig the fucking hole? And really, what is cute about an ice cream scooping Brady Bunch reject?

Anyways, venting aside, Jason did also help in the challenge. Can't say the same for a lot of my tribe members, but it was also a matter of when you got online, and I was lucky I was able to be around at the time. Even moreso because I completed the bridge and was able to get myself across it first and win immunity!

In the end, my tribe got 9 members across before 9 of the Faves did, and so we only have to vote one person off at Tribal Council.

Now I would love to be a huge bitchy strategist and vote for someone that doesn't deserve it for potential tiebreakers down the line, but I want to keep this tribe strong for now. If we can continue to beat the Favorites in challenges and overtake them, it would be awesome. We can turn from the Fantards to the game dominators, and that would be pretty cool.

So my goal is get Joel out. Which i'm not going to even try to really enforce, because logically he SHOULD go, and we really are Fantards if he doesn't.

So we'll see what happens.

Bloody Mary out.

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[Mary Sartain]

Round Two - This Puzzle's Too Hard, I Quit... Wah.

OK this has already passed so imma keep it short and sweet.

First off, Joel muscleman left. Yay.

Next, we lost the Immunity Challenge which was swimming, smashing plates, swimming back, and solving a puzzle. Jason and Alexis were our solvers. Jason did great, Alexis complained the puzzle was too hard and quit (really? way to prove yourself. not.) So that didn't impress me.

EDIT: What Alexis said exactly was "WELL I TRIED PAINT WASNT WORKING GOING TO BED." Either way, epic fail.

Anyways, yeah, we did lose, and then BJ gets all up in our face like he's the shit. Uhm no calm yourself. So I reminded him who the HBIC is and pointed out that we won the first challenge and he shouldn't forget that. Suddenly, my karma went down to -2. Are the Faves intimidated by a Fan that will stand up for their self? I don't know. Either way, some of my Fans put my karma back up, and now i'm actually up at +1. <3

Anyways we went to Tribal Council and voted useless Kathy out. Peace bitch.

[Mary Sartain]

Round Three - Stop Breaking My Balls Coconuts

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Alright, Kathy left the game, as I already said. YAYYYYYY.

So the Fans tribe should be stronger now, right? WRONG.

Every time we take out a useless piece of crap, someone else magically turns into a useless piece of crap. It's like a Transformer, or a Chia Pet even. cha-cha-cha-chia.

Anyways, the new useless piece of dog shit on the tribe is Mikey B. He decided not to log on for our latest challenge. Uhhh....wut?

But we also have two other useless pieces of shit. Erik is a temporary useless piece of shit until he gets back from vacation. He's like the piece of shit in the backyard that isn't bothering anyone.

Alexis is here, but still pretty much a useless piece of shit. She's like the piece of shit that everyone knows is there but no one wants to clean up. So right now she's , just sitting there, smelling up the room and waiting to be taken care of.

Anyways, I realized this tribe is divided. Between great amazing people like myself, and the aforementioned useless pieces of shit.

So I decided, why not take some DAMN initiative? I still don't get the chance to talk to these people that much, but I damn sure know who is good for the tribe, who I want to work with, and who's not.

So, at the end of last round, I decided to make an alliance with Tracy, Natalie, Chet, and Jason. I know, I know, it's not the most attractive alliance ever. Chet the Bitchy Queen that's been hit by the ugly stick way too many times, Natalie the hillbilly duck-face, Jason the wanna-be Ron Jeremy, and Tracy the collagen-lipped muthawhat. But it's ok, i'm here for a few reasons, but most importantly, to make us look good.

Anyways, our alliance rocks.

The newest challenge was gathering coconuts and putting together a phrase. We all pulled our weight, pulling through. Fairy did amazing, I give him props, as did Duck-Face.

I found 2 coconuts due to lack of time. In the end, our tribe lost because neither tribe found all the coconuts (I give you props, this challenge was maddddd hard), but the Faves found 16 before we did.

I almost blame myself, because if I had time to search for one more coconut, maybe we could have won. However, at the same time, maybe I still wouldn't have found another one, you know? So i'm not taking the blame.

Especially when our THREE USELESS PIECES OF SHIT didn't do anything! Like, really? If any of them took the time to find ONE....count it, ONE coconut, we would have won that challenge.

Any campaigns they make to stay, save for Erik who has a valid excuse, they deserve to go.

The vote was clearly Mikey B. We didn't even need to talk about it. I talked to him after our first Immunity Challenge as he was the only one I could catch on AIM, talking about how we should work together and get some other people involved. Yeah, no. He sucks. Scratch that shit like a cheap lotto ticket.

Meanwhile, I keep talking to Alexis every time we come to Tribal Council. Why put in the effort you might ask, when odds are she might be gone within the next 3 rounds anyway?

That bitch has 15 confessional posts! I don't know how, since she barely does anything, but if there's even a slight CHANCE she might have that Hidden Immunity Idol, she talked to me the other day and said "no one is talking to me", so that bitch KNOWS her ass is on the line. If she decided to use that Hidden Immunity Idol that there's even a chance she may have, it for damn sure ain't gunna be on me.

That's about it for now. Hopefully next challenge we can pull off a fucking win.

Bloody Mary, out.
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[Mary Sartain]

Round Four - OK, We Suck.

So, we voted out Mikey B., and we all thought we were moving on as a better tribe. Right?

So we go on to the next challenge, and I'm feeling good.


It's all about Predators and Prey. I mean i'm like a major cougar so I wanted to be a Predator, but I thought I would be better off as Prey. Errbody loves me, right? So why not be chased like my usual life?

Anyways, Chet and Erik chose to be the Predators. OK. First off, only Predator you're going to see Chet as is starring role on "To Catch A Predator", and I don't know what the hell Erik's doing there.... he's probably the one Chet is trying to have sex with.

Anyways, we got off to an "eh" start. Tracy and Natalie were taken out of the challenge fairly quickly by "Mama T", but I was getting mad nuts. You knowwwwww getttt itttttttt

Chet was good at protecting the nuts and taking out people on the other team.



.......then, it went downhill. I got taken out by that sneaky old bitch, and Alexis followed soon after.

Jolanda got mad coconuts for the Faves, but of course she did. That chick runs mad fast, she's the only black person in the game! Of course she's sprinting mad nuts across that line! Imma call her the Nut Gobbler.

So, they won in a count of 23 to 20. FUCK. MY. LIFE.


Like, we are SERIOUSLY trying and we still can't win a damn challenge. What the hell? Can we get it together? I tried to so hard in this challenge I almost popped a damn implant but no, we still lost.

Anyways, now we have to vote yet another person out. Because the alliance is sticking together, it makes it between Erik and Alexis.

I went around asking for peoples' opinions so I don't look controlling, but I decided I'd rather Erik go. He honestly didn't prove himself to me, maybe he had jet lag and just sucked, but i'm sorry, going to Jolanda and saying she did good (which, granted, she did) and that you kept missing her by one minute. URM... you pretty much admitted you're the reason we lost. Jo was the one that got all the coconuts for the Faves pretty much, and you kept missing catching her.

Alexis did only get 3 or 4 coconuts, but that was more than some of the people in my alliance, so I can't hold it against her. Plus she talks to me and probably trusts me, so that's a plus.

I know Natalie wants to vote out Alexis, but I stuck to voting Erik, told Alexis to do the same, so is Tracy, and I think Jason and possibly Chet is, but I don't know on those two.

Either way, if Alexis ends up going, i'm not gunna be devastated. I'll move on very quickly lol.

But I JUST WANT TO START WINNING! I'm done with being a fucking loser. It's not me, and it needs to end immediately.

Bloody Mary, out.

[Mary Sartain]

Chat with Bo:


Host (10:31:45 PM): In private AIM...tell me who you personally want to be in the Finale with. Feel free to be honest, cause it won't be revealed to anyone. Not even in ur confessional. I'm just curious. ^.^


micronesianmary (10:34:18 PM): hmmm
micronesianmary (10:34:20 PM): Good question.
micronesianmary (10:34:32 PM): I made a f2 with natalie, hence me giving her the idol this past round so she would keep me if she wins.
micronesianmary (10:34:47 PM): to reinforce the deal i made with her, i gave her the hii so she would trust me more
micronesianmary (10:35:00 PM): but.... the jury keeps telling me that they're all pissed at me pretty much and think nat has played this amazing ame.
micronesianmary (10:35:01 PM): *game
micronesianmary (10:35:33 PM): meanwhile, i'm the one that had a HII. I was the supposed "leader of the fans". I got Jerri voted out, I would have had Shawn out at f10 rather than chet had tracy and nat voted right. I controlled the votes from f9 on.
micronesianmary (10:35:49 PM): And they all tell me nat has played the better social game and give me false facts that make no sense.
micronesianmary (10:35:55 PM): i'm the one with no votes cast against me this entire game.
micronesianmary (10:36:09 PM): Basically, I know I should be doing confessionals and you would know all this in more detail xD
Host (10:36:19 PM): lol
micronesianmary (10:36:40 PM): But I played this game, I was the Parvati of this season tbh, and I controlled things. And I pissed people off, but I had a goal from f9 on, get me and my fans (the true fans, not erik) to f3
micronesianmary (10:36:41 PM): and it worked.
micronesianmary (10:36:46 PM): now my debate is who DO I take?
micronesianmary (10:36:54 PM): I said I would play under the role as bloody mary from day 1, and i did.
micronesianmary (10:36:56 PM): i adopted that role.
micronesianmary (10:37:03 PM): i made a f2 with nat
micronesianmary (10:37:04 PM): thing is.
micronesianmary (10:37:07 PM): she is more of a threat in f2
micronesianmary (10:37:08 PM): but then again
micronesianmary (10:37:17 PM): tracy hasn't done a lot at all and had sucked so bad esp. this late in the game
micronesianmary (10:37:31 PM): if i take her, i could get the whole "you took the easy way out and now we're voting for her out of spite" treatment.
micronesianmary (10:37:47 PM): so it's a tough call, if i even win the final challenge. which is endurance, which is the one thing i absolutely suck at.
micronesianmary (10:37:48 PM): so tough call.
Host (10:38:16 PM): I cant wait to see.
Host (10:38:35 PM): You guys entered merge with 5 Fans (one of which was a traitor).
micronesianmary (10:38:42 PM): lol was that me? =-O
Host (10:38:47 PM): No. lol Erik.
micronesianmary (10:38:49 PM): No, I know.
micronesianmary (10:38:52 PM): And agreed. -___-
micronesianmary (10:38:53 PM): Ugh Erik
micronesianmary (10:39:01 PM): I called him being a traitor from day 1, i never liked him.
micronesianmary (10:39:04 PM): between you and me.
Host (10:39:39 PM): People who betray alliances when merge hits...rarely get far, let alone win.
micronesianmary (10:39:56 PM): I would have to agree, I've won enough of these games to know. ;-)
Host (10:40:01 PM): lol
micronesianmary (10:40:05 PM): Then again, I guess i've somewhat been on the other end, and somehow won them. =-O
micronesianmary (10:40:09 PM): Survivor Horror
micronesianmary (10:40:10 PM): lol
Host (10:40:10 PM): lol
Host (10:40:25 PM): *pokes you in da face for that one*

[Mary Sartain]

EVERY OTHER ROUND - TURNS OUT, I"M A FANTARD AFTER ALL.

So, since I obviously majorly suck and haven't done a confessional in so long because i've been so busy IRL, i'm going to attempt to catch you up in a much shorter synopsis. I apologize for the lack of confessionals, especially because of the game i've played and I think it would be better if it was documented over the course of the game. But, I will try to fill ya in.

So......

After Alexis was voted out, the Fans managed to win two challenges and we didn't have to worry about anything. Dave, a very potential threat, was voted out. So was Bobby Jon, who thought he could talk mad shit on the Fans, so I was kind of happy to see him put in his place.

At the next challenge, we actually stood a shot at winning. But then Jason screwed us over by getting into a bitchfit with the hosts about not deleting his posts when he clearly did AND there was evidence of it, and because of it, he was removed from the game.

Turns out, we were merging at eleven people, not ten! So we didn't even have a shot to even things out, which sucked for the Fans. The Faves obviously have most of the HII's and we are now going in with a disadvantage when we could have very possibly went in at an advantage.

So, we became the GHETTOTONGA <3 tribe, and it was an all new game.

I tried to start developing relationships and talking mainly to Jolanda, Lindsey, and Teresa.

Meanwhile, I came up with a plan to keep all of the Fans in the game. I noticed Jerri hasn't logged on and would probably self-vote, so decided we should all vote for her. The plan would have worked, BUT..... it was a tie, because Erik's ass decided to self-vote.

But turns out, somehow, in the tiebreaker, someone flipped.

Everyone presumed it was Teresa because we had supposedly made a deal with her since she was "on the outs" to keep her the longest out of all of the Faves if she voted with us, but turns out she did not take the deal, because Chet did not confirm it to her. However, she's clearly not alone on the Faves side anyway, so I don't know who she is trying to fool. However, Shawn did flip (for whatever reason), and we managed to keep Tracy and get Jerri out, so the plan succeeded.

We then learned it would be our first Double Tribal Council.

Lindsey granted herself immunity with her hidden power, and I went to work.

We had all of these options and eventually I found a hole where we could get Shawn voted out of the game.

Me and Chet saw the loophole, however, the others did not vote with us or change their votes quick enough. Because of that, Chet took the downfall and was the last pre-juror of the game, and with that, my biggest ally and best friend here had been eliminated. BYE FAIRY .....

The next challenge was the Coconut Chop. We had supposedly made an agreement that we would all chop out the people not at the challenge and go from there, but the Faves [Teresa, Lindsey, and Jolanda] quickly turned on myself, Tracy, and Natalie, as was expected. I was not surprised, however, there also wasn't much we could do about it at that point, so I let it go and kept talking with them all to be in good standing with them.

However, after the challenge and Teresa's win, I also started talking with Brett and Shawn. Lo and behold, we get along pretty well. Not knowing how the girls of the Faves were voting this round, I finally got Brett to tell me he was voting for Lindsey. Which is perfect! She's a big threat and can be taken out early on. Not to mention, the girl keeps saying she'd like to make a deal with me, but hasn't done so yet. I'm not sitting here waiting to get taken out.

Turns out Erik's sneaky rat ass came up with this plan. Erik, who I have had a problem with since the merge, but kept my plans hidden from him. I don't want him on to me, and i'll have him think i'm stupid Mary that has no idea what he has done/said behind my back, about how to possibly vote me out or "flush out a potential Mary idol".

I figured out Shawn was also voting this way and threw my vote in there for Lindsey as well, which turned out to be the decider. Lindsey was taken out with 4 votes!

From this point on, I came up with a secret plan. To play the sides of the Faves against each other, each thinking I was with them to take out the other, with the secret agenda to get the Fans (well, minus Erik... let''s call it the Femme Fatale Fans) to the Final 3.

It was another Double Tribal Council round! Teresa was pissed that her friend was voted out, and vowed to seek vengeance. Then she gave immunity to Erik. -___- Does this woman realize what she just did? You just gave immunity to the one that dug the hole for your friend to be voted out.

After we told her this after the fact, I figured out Erik's master plan. Erik was playing both sides, but worse than I was. Because truth was, Erik thinks he is the mastermind of this game. He thinks he made some major plan for the Fan girls to vote for Jolanda and for her to "use the Idol", and for everyone else to vote out Tracy and get Tracy out of the game.

But Tracy is in my plans, and that can't happen. SO..... I came up with a plan. First, I went to the guys... I told them I would vote with them. But they were going with Erik's plan to vote for Tracy.

Then I went to the girls. I told them I'd vote with them for Shawn.

But then, I went to tracy. Confused yet? I told her vote for Jolanda.

I voted for Jolanda. I told Nat keep her vote for Shawn. and I got Brett to switch his vote. He tried to switch it back, but, too late. It was locked.

So it was a tied vote between SHAWN and JOLANDA, 3-3-2.

In the end, we took out Jolanda, which was my plan all along. To stay on T's good side, I told her everyone else was set on it and I just went along with it to stay in the game and not be in the minority.

Truth was, next round, we needed to possibly take T out or split up Brett and Shawn. I agreed to Brett and Shawn that I would take out T next round, but only if they would agree that Erik would go the next round. I also got Shawn to verify that he has a HII, while I continued to deny that I had one even though it was quite apparent.

At the Survivor auction, Brett won Immunity, T won an advantage in the next challenge, and I won some stuff that would help me later. <3

At the vote, staying on T's good side worked out for me. I got her to admit to me she had Jo's HII, and that she was using it this round, and using it to take Erik out. Perfect for me! I've been wanting Erik out, and quite honestly, decided that was how I was going to vote anyway! So, I cast my vote for Erik.

I let Brett and Shawn know just before the vote T told me she was using an Idol, but they were safe. We're getting her out next round, anyway.

So, the vote was 4-2-1. Lucky we didn't just bank on Erik voting with them, because he tried to get out Tracy thinking T would use a HII. Fail, dude. The "master" of the game is out, and the true master. Well, it's me.

Next round was a doozy. T's Immunity advantage came in handy when she swept the challenge and won Immunity yet again.

So, I had some work to do. Brett and Shawn wanted to vote out Tracy. I told them I would go along with it, but truth was, they need to be split up. I also realized this round by Brett's thread increase that he very possibly could have won a HII.

So, I came up with a plan. I told T we could vote for Brett. I got Tracy and Natalie to agree to it as well.

Meanwhile, I played it off as if I got Natalie to vote for Tracy and was straight up throwing Tracy off.

I also told Shawn if the girls turned on me and were voting for him so the vote would tie, I would let him know so he could use his HII and take Tracy out.

At the last minute, I told Shawn to throw him into a state of confusion, but also so no one could lock their votes. I told him Nat and Tracy turned on me and were voting with T for him, so to use his Idol. He did use his Idol, and Brett didn't use his [potential idol?], so Shawn wasted his Idol, and Brett was taken out. The Fans regained the majority in the game and were one step closer to our (my?) goal. It was also around this point that I made a Final 2 deal with Natalie as we were the two stronger Fans and I saw her having more potential to win the final Immunity Challenge.

Me and the girls agreed that next round we had to take out T. She was a huge challenge threat and could single-handedly stop us from our goal.

During the challenge, I used the Idol Avoidance, so if there were any Idols in play, they couldn't be used this round. It insured we had majority vote (3-2) with no risk of going because of an Idol, and it still allowed me to keep my Idol to use for the next round (the last one of the game I could) if need be.

It worked out perfectly! Shawn won Immunity, and we took out Teresa.

At Final 4, I managed to win the challenge. I passed my HII to Natalie to use just to help gain her confidence and reassure her I was an ally. She didn't need it, but it would help strengthen our bond, so if she did win the Final Immunity Challenge, she would take me.

We voted off Shawn as he was the last Favorite remaining, so it was naturally the choice.


I then managed to win the last Immunity Challenge, and it was a huge/hard choice. Ultimately, I decided to vote off Natalie. Even though we had made a Final 2 deal, Tracy played a lot worse and jurors like Teresa and Shawn, who arguably played some of the best games here, said Natalie would receive their votes if she made the end. Therefore, it would be foolish of me to take her there with me. I didn't do what I did and make all the moves I did to lose this close to the end.

Going into the Final 2 against Tracy and with the Jury Advantage could work out very well for me. I know I deserve to win this game, but the question is, will I? The Jury could potentially be bitter, but also could do the "you took the easy win" spite against me. I played this whole game as Bloody Mary, and if I have to rip Tracy's game apart to win, I will.

I'm so close to my goal, but shit is not over yet.

For the last time, Bloody Mary, out.

[Mary Sartain]

I'm sorry but if people vote for Tracy to win it's completely out of bitterness. There's not one bit of inkling in me that doubts I played the better game, and I know they all know it, too.

Some of them don't even have reason to be bitter with me. I may have lied, but people like Lyndsey, Erik... I never had any type of deal with them.

At least I have the Jury Advantage in case I need it xD

People need to start asking some damn questions so I can own Tracy.

BTW, Tracy tried to get "T to flip" and liked playing the "risky game, always needing someone to flop."

Uhm, fail on getting T to flip. And #2, I was always the one getting people voted out, you never got anyone to flop.

I swear to God, we all know I deserve to win this game.

BLOODY FUCKING MARY OUT.

[Mary Sartain]

I'm sick of people saying I used "personal relationships to my advantage." I did not do so, I simply knew we were friends outside of the game. I never promised a final 4 deal to the guys or anything. Yes, they are friends, but I treated them just like I would treat anyone else in any other game. If anything, they assumed just because we're friends I was going to work with them over the course of this game. It's getting to the point that it's annoying.

I will not BEG Shawn for his vote, that's ridiculous. In addition, I will not tell Erik he's some God. NEWSFLASH: You SUCKED at this game. And you weren't the reason Jo was voted out. You think you're the mastermind, you're not.

If I have to, I WILL use my Jury Advantage on one of them.

[Mary Sartain]

Well, game's over, but I almost forgot to show ya'll this monumental moment. Might as well finish off the game with it. It recaps my whole experience and persona lol.



Bloody Mary[/b], officially out.